Love is a mess, it takes forever to shake off and sticks to you like glue. It's constantly around you, and everywhere you look it's there. If only I had done myself a favour and not fallen in it. Some say it's a wonderful feeling, to be able to love. But it's painful, when I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that it's never going to turn out the way I want it too. That he just won't look at me the same way I look at him. He doesn't even know I exist. He doesn't know my name. Yet every morning, he's the first thing on my mind. And he stays there for the rest of the day. I don't tell anyone how I feel, or they'll just claim that I'm a stupid, besotted teenager who knows nothing about love. That all I'm feeling is admiration. Well tell me this, if what I'm feeling is admiration, how come it hurts so much when I try to forget about him? Why does it make me feel empty every time I try to get over him? Why do I feel like he's the only thing that I'll ever care about like this?
You don't even know me. And I'm sure I don't know much about you either. But I feel like I know you inside and out. I feel so empty right about now. Sometimes late at night I wonder what it would be like if I was that tiny bit older. If things were different. If I was the one you held late at night and couldn't bear losing. Would I feel complete? Would I feel happiness? Would I know what love is? Would I be sat here, with my heart aching, longing to see you? I love you. It's as simple as those 3 words and 8 letters. They only have one meaning, and they sound so simple when said. But there is so much pain behind the simplicity. A world of sadness, pain and anguish. You think you're just an innocent man, that you are doing no wrong. But you don't see how much pain you put me through. But you don't just make me sad. You fill me with happiness and longing. You make me love, love. You make me feel like the world would be an empty sphere without your presence. That life wouldn't be worth living.
Damn, why did I fall in love?
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
your tears don't fall. they crash around me.
Dear Little Sister.
You'll never read this, because I won't let you. But I'm going to write it anyway.
I know you're going through the stages of 'puberty' as it is put. But it doesn't give you the right to go around treating people the way you do. I know I went through the same stage as you. But havn't you heard mum say? She says that I was never as bad as you. And you know why? Because I was never violent. I never imitated what my sister said to me. And to some extent I listened. Me and Mum would argue, and then we'd sit down and chat. Those chats brought us closer together. But you know what? You don't do that. You scream. You shout. You stomp. And you bring on the waterworks. And then you complain that everyone is always yelling at you. It's because of you. You don't even see it do you? You don't even see just how much you upset us do you?
You've reduced me to tears. Bet you didn't know that. When we argued the other day and I apologised I was crying. You thought it's because I was sorry didn't you? Well it wasn't. I was crying because I miss you. I miss the way you used to be. I miss the sister who I would play 'Mum's and Dad's' with. The sister who would build 'Polly Pocket' villages with me. The sister who I made a 'show' with. Where did she go? Because the sister who is upstairs in her room right now isn't her at all. Now I get a loud, rude, obnoxious monster.
You don't even understand it. You think that what you say it the right thing. When it's not. If you don't get your own way you start another argument. Mum is fed up with it now. She just finished it with me, and now we're closer than we were.
But the way you're going I don't see the same thing happening for you two. I see you ruining your relationship with her. Because you're too selfish to see the destruction that you are causing. Just open your eyes and see. Before it's too late.
You'll never read this, because I won't let you. But I'm going to write it anyway.
You don't even understand it. You think that what you say it the right thing. When it's not. If you don't get your own way you start another argument. Mum is fed up with it now. She just finished it with me, and now we're closer than we were.
But the way you're going I don't see the same thing happening for you two. I see you ruining your relationship with her. Because you're too selfish to see the destruction that you are causing. Just open your eyes and see. Before it's too late.
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
i can't help, you're on your own...
that's one of the lines in JLS' song Mary. Not only does that 7 word phrase mean exactly what it does in context, it also means so much more. Well, to me it did anyway.
When I heard that line today, it reached out to me, and I deciphered a different meaning. It's not the meaning meant in the song, way off in fact. To me, it meant, the simple 3 letter sentence. You are alone. As simple as that. The whole line has a new meaning. No one can help you, you are on your own. In everything. No matter how many people say 'I'm here for you' They're not. Sorry to burst any bubble. But this is reality and life. And both are stuck up bitches. You are on your own, you have to work through all of life's tough times on your own. No one knows how you feel in the bottom of your heart. Or how you feel at 3am, with the covers pulled up to your chin. No one's there for you then are they? Because you are alone.
The phrase showed me, that instead of relying on everyone else to pick up the broken pieces of my life, I am the only one who can. I am alone, and I will succeed on my own, by myself.
When I heard that line today, it reached out to me, and I deciphered a different meaning. It's not the meaning meant in the song, way off in fact. To me, it meant, the simple 3 letter sentence. You are alone. As simple as that. The whole line has a new meaning. No one can help you, you are on your own. In everything. No matter how many people say 'I'm here for you' They're not. Sorry to burst any bubble. But this is reality and life. And both are stuck up bitches. You are on your own, you have to work through all of life's tough times on your own. No one knows how you feel in the bottom of your heart. Or how you feel at 3am, with the covers pulled up to your chin. No one's there for you then are they? Because you are alone.
The phrase showed me, that instead of relying on everyone else to pick up the broken pieces of my life, I am the only one who can. I am alone, and I will succeed on my own, by myself.
Saturday, 9 October 2010
leaves, cold, rain and coats.
so it's autumn now, a season i love so dearly. i love watching the leaves go brown on the trees, and the piles left when they fall off. the brown, red and yellow colours are so beautiful. i also love the rain at this time of year. at other times i hate it, but i love the rain in autumn. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and i love the way the leaves look when they are wet, the way the ground crunches under my ankle boots, the way the air feels when it's stopped raining, the clearness, the innoncence, so tranquil. 
autumn also signifies much more. autumn is the run up to winter, the countdown to Christmas. the leaves start falling off mid-autumn and towards the end, leaving them brown and thin. baring all they have. showing everyone what they are made of. Halloween is in autumn too, the time for pumpkin carving, trick-or-treating, and dressing up. a time for fun. closely followed by bonfire night, fireworks and sparklers, bonfires and noise. animals running scared and frightened of the ever increasing racket blaring through windows and walls. then last but not least. Christmas. the joy of receiving presents on Christmas morning is enough to send any child insane. the joy and wondering of what is underneath the crisp wrapping paper, the smell of Christmas dinner in the oven, and Christmas telly. 
but they are still yet to come, as you look outside your window now autumn is upon us. a time of leaves, cold, rain and coats.
Tuesday, 21 September 2010
As time goes by...
Dear Nanny,
It's true if I say that I miss you. But that would be an understatement. Because the feelings I have are more than a simple 'miss'. So much more. It hurt so much when you were cruelly taken from us. And it still hurts every birthday and every anniversary. Time has gone so quickly, and the saying 'time can heal everything' is a load of cow poo. Because time cannot heal anything. Yeah it may make the situation form a normality and a sense of reality. But it in no way shape or form eases the pain. It doesn't numb, pause or even eradicate anything. It doesn't even soften it. It just does nothing. Because Nanny, I still miss you, and it still hurts. Not physically, I have no physical wounds to show for it, it's all emotional. It still kills me. If I could turn back time, I would relive every moment spent with you, and savour it much more than I did. Because if I knew how quickly you would be taken from me, I would've spent more time with you.
I can't really say your death was a surprise, we all saw it coming. But just because it wasn't surprising doesn't mean it hurt less. I remember it was a bank holiday. It was the 7th May 2007. And I know it was a bank holiday because Mum and Dad were both off work, but that is besides the point. Anyway... we had been to town, we got home and there was an answer phone message. Mum played it while Dad was busy getting the bags from the car. She listened to it, as did myself and Katie, and then she rushed to get Dad. It was Grandma Cole, you'd had a stroke and had been rushed to hospital.
Dad dropped me and Katie off at Grandma Buttriss's house whilst they went to the hospital. They spent hours at your bedside Nanny, that's how much they cared. Dad rang me and told me you were in a bad state. He told me to prepare myself for the worst, because the situation wasn't looking good. He came home with Mum and I could tell he was well and truly shaken up from it. I remember asking Mum if I could go see you, but she told me that her and Dad wanted our memories of you to be when you were happy and lively, not weak and vulnerable in a hospital bed. I respect Mum for that. She had good incentive.
The next two days passed. Grandma B looked after us, whilst Mum and Dad went to see you. Then it happened...
Thursday 10th May 2007. This date and specific time that the bombshell was dropped is engraved on my brain like a tattoo to skin. The phone rang at about 12.30am. I went to the toilet. There was silence as Mum answered the phone. I stood in the doorway of their room and saw my Dad in tears on his bed. I then started crying. No words were said. I just knew. All I remember from the rest of the night is Nanny Marshall coming over and looking after me and Katie while Dad and Mum went to see you. Dad needed all the support he could get, and Mum was there to give it to him.
I remember that time period so clearly. Like looking through a newly washed mirror. They say the eyes are windows to the soul. So look in my eyes, have a look and see. I was only 11 years old, you were 98 when you passed away. You were an old lady, but you had so much life left in you. I was always saying to Mum, "Nanny will live to be 100, she'll get something from the Queen!" Sadly that never happened...
I still miss you Nanny, I remember your smile and the way you made Dad happy when we came over. When we go to visit Melda we still call it Nan's house. Your room is still the same too. Nothing changed. It's like you're still there. If only you were eh?
I just want you back Nanny, I'm at a place where I could just use a hug from you. But I suppose the satisfaction of knowing you are watching over me is all I can get. I hope you're proud, and I intend to make you prouder by passing my GCSE's. I hope you'll forgive me for all the stupid mistakes I've made, all the mean things I have said, and all the bad I have done. Just remember, you know the real me, I'm not a bad person. You know why? Because I want to be like you. And you weren't a bad person. You were amazing, there wasn't a single bad bone in your frail body. I hope I live a long life. I hope I inspire my Great GrandChildren to make the most of life. I hope I'm pretty. I hope I make people happy. I hope I'm the GrandChild you always wanted. Because Nanny, you're the GreatestGreatNan that ever walked this messed up earth.
It's true if I say that I miss you. But that would be an understatement. Because the feelings I have are more than a simple 'miss'. So much more. It hurt so much when you were cruelly taken from us. And it still hurts every birthday and every anniversary. Time has gone so quickly, and the saying 'time can heal everything' is a load of cow poo. Because time cannot heal anything. Yeah it may make the situation form a normality and a sense of reality. But it in no way shape or form eases the pain. It doesn't numb, pause or even eradicate anything. It doesn't even soften it. It just does nothing. Because Nanny, I still miss you, and it still hurts. Not physically, I have no physical wounds to show for it, it's all emotional. It still kills me. If I could turn back time, I would relive every moment spent with you, and savour it much more than I did. Because if I knew how quickly you would be taken from me, I would've spent more time with you.
I can't really say your death was a surprise, we all saw it coming. But just because it wasn't surprising doesn't mean it hurt less. I remember it was a bank holiday. It was the 7th May 2007. And I know it was a bank holiday because Mum and Dad were both off work, but that is besides the point. Anyway... we had been to town, we got home and there was an answer phone message. Mum played it while Dad was busy getting the bags from the car. She listened to it, as did myself and Katie, and then she rushed to get Dad. It was Grandma Cole, you'd had a stroke and had been rushed to hospital.
Dad dropped me and Katie off at Grandma Buttriss's house whilst they went to the hospital. They spent hours at your bedside Nanny, that's how much they cared. Dad rang me and told me you were in a bad state. He told me to prepare myself for the worst, because the situation wasn't looking good. He came home with Mum and I could tell he was well and truly shaken up from it. I remember asking Mum if I could go see you, but she told me that her and Dad wanted our memories of you to be when you were happy and lively, not weak and vulnerable in a hospital bed. I respect Mum for that. She had good incentive.
The next two days passed. Grandma B looked after us, whilst Mum and Dad went to see you. Then it happened...
Thursday 10th May 2007. This date and specific time that the bombshell was dropped is engraved on my brain like a tattoo to skin. The phone rang at about 12.30am. I went to the toilet. There was silence as Mum answered the phone. I stood in the doorway of their room and saw my Dad in tears on his bed. I then started crying. No words were said. I just knew. All I remember from the rest of the night is Nanny Marshall coming over and looking after me and Katie while Dad and Mum went to see you. Dad needed all the support he could get, and Mum was there to give it to him.
I remember that time period so clearly. Like looking through a newly washed mirror. They say the eyes are windows to the soul. So look in my eyes, have a look and see. I was only 11 years old, you were 98 when you passed away. You were an old lady, but you had so much life left in you. I was always saying to Mum, "Nanny will live to be 100, she'll get something from the Queen!" Sadly that never happened...
I still miss you Nanny, I remember your smile and the way you made Dad happy when we came over. When we go to visit Melda we still call it Nan's house. Your room is still the same too. Nothing changed. It's like you're still there. If only you were eh?
I just want you back Nanny, I'm at a place where I could just use a hug from you. But I suppose the satisfaction of knowing you are watching over me is all I can get. I hope you're proud, and I intend to make you prouder by passing my GCSE's. I hope you'll forgive me for all the stupid mistakes I've made, all the mean things I have said, and all the bad I have done. Just remember, you know the real me, I'm not a bad person. You know why? Because I want to be like you. And you weren't a bad person. You were amazing, there wasn't a single bad bone in your frail body. I hope I live a long life. I hope I inspire my Great GrandChildren to make the most of life. I hope I'm pretty. I hope I make people happy. I hope I'm the GrandChild you always wanted. Because Nanny, you're the GreatestGreatNan that ever walked this messed up earth.
Monday, 20 September 2010
You tell me?
Ultimate questions. Questions that can never be answered. The unanswerable. But what is an example of an ultimate question? How was the world created? What's death like? Are they all ultimate questions? But what about a question as simple as, does he love me? What is the meaning of life? Should I have eaten that biscuit? Can they not be classed as the unanswerable too? Or are they just questions that have no meaning or matter at all?
Or is every question an ultimate question?
Or is every question an ultimate question?
Wednesday, 25 August 2010
you are beautiful, no matter what they say.
how many times have you looked in the mirror and not liked the image that is staring back you? are you one of those people who avoids staring in the mirror altogether? or are you one to look in the mirror and think "dang! i look good!"?
i know which one i am. i look in the mirror and my opinion of myself changes. one day i can look in the mirror and think "hannah, don't listen to what they all say, you are beautiful in your own way." other days i think "for god sake, wear a bag over your head and hide that face will you?" and it's horrible, i'm my own worst enemy. i criticise myself over every little thing. if i don't get a good grade in a lesson i kick myself because they got better than me. and i hate that. no matter how many times people tell me that i am pretty and that i shouldn't listen to them, i still don't believe them. i've been told i'm ugly, one of my best friends did it. but we 'drifted apart' so she says. what she means is "i changed myself to be popular and you were right to ditch me." but anyway, those comments still stick with me. and they always will. if i get an odd look from someone i take it personally. i know i shouldn't but i do.
but i am learning to ignore snide remarks. if people have nothing nice to say to you don't listen to you. someone once told me "people only pick out your faults because it gives them an ego boost." and that's what i think every time someone criticises me. and it helps me get by. no one has the right to tell you that you aren't beautiful. not even yourself. inner beauty is what really matters. outer beauty is just the show, so who cares if that boy won't date you because your hair doesn't stay straight? who cares if you can't be in that 'popular' group because you don't cake your face in make up everyday? one day you will find people who want to your friend for who you are, and you'll find a boy who loves you for you inner beauty and personality.
so don't worry about people's snide comments. they probably feel the same way as you. they probably look in the mirror and hate the reflection that's looking back at them. they've probably been critiscised, so they in the end feel the need to criticise someone else. so let them get on with it and show them you can rise above it and move the fuck on.
i know which one i am. i look in the mirror and my opinion of myself changes. one day i can look in the mirror and think "hannah, don't listen to what they all say, you are beautiful in your own way." other days i think "for god sake, wear a bag over your head and hide that face will you?" and it's horrible, i'm my own worst enemy. i criticise myself over every little thing. if i don't get a good grade in a lesson i kick myself because they got better than me. and i hate that. no matter how many times people tell me that i am pretty and that i shouldn't listen to them, i still don't believe them. i've been told i'm ugly, one of my best friends did it. but we 'drifted apart' so she says. what she means is "i changed myself to be popular and you were right to ditch me." but anyway, those comments still stick with me. and they always will. if i get an odd look from someone i take it personally. i know i shouldn't but i do.
but i am learning to ignore snide remarks. if people have nothing nice to say to you don't listen to you. someone once told me "people only pick out your faults because it gives them an ego boost." and that's what i think every time someone criticises me. and it helps me get by. no one has the right to tell you that you aren't beautiful. not even yourself. inner beauty is what really matters. outer beauty is just the show, so who cares if that boy won't date you because your hair doesn't stay straight? who cares if you can't be in that 'popular' group because you don't cake your face in make up everyday? one day you will find people who want to your friend for who you are, and you'll find a boy who loves you for you inner beauty and personality.
so don't worry about people's snide comments. they probably feel the same way as you. they probably look in the mirror and hate the reflection that's looking back at them. they've probably been critiscised, so they in the end feel the need to criticise someone else. so let them get on with it and show them you can rise above it and move the fuck on.
Sunday, 22 August 2010
i love the way you lie.
just gonna stand there and watch me burn.
but that's alright because i like the way it hurts.
just gonna stand there and hear me cry.
but that's alright because i like the way it hurts.
just gonna stand there and hear me cry.
but that's alright because i love the way you lie.
i love the way you lie.
Monday, 9 August 2010
it's a big world after all...
well, i'm sat here, absolutely buzzing and jumping around with excitement as in a few hours i'm going to be getting up and going on my long-awaited summer holiday!
but then it hit me. a couple of weeks after i get back i have to go back to school. now don't take this the wrong way. i'm not complaining about how school sucks or anything. in fact i'm scared and want the school years to slow right down! this time next year i'll be thinking about going into year 11. then it's sixth form, then uni. and then i'm alone in the big big world. going to be making my own way.
it's different when you're six years old and you say "when i'm older i'm going to live in a big house, and have lots of money, and loads of kids." because you aren't old enough to understand just how daunting it is as an adult. the fact now that everything i do affects my future, passing my GCSE's affects whether i get into sixth form. my A-Levels affect whether i get into uni. and uni affects whether i get a career and the job i want. it may seem far away, but it seems like only yesterday i was starting infants school as a five year old. scared that no one was going to like me. now 10 years down the line. well, i want time to slow down.
i want to cherish my childhood. not have it pass me by in the blink of an eye. i want to be able to have people around me supporting me for longer. i want to live with my mummy forever and have her cook me dinner every day. even though that sounds selfish. i don't want to grow up just yet. i don't want to have to fend for myself yet. i don't want to grow up. not yet anyway.
these are the times you wish peter pan would climb through your window and take you off to neverland...
but then it hit me. a couple of weeks after i get back i have to go back to school. now don't take this the wrong way. i'm not complaining about how school sucks or anything. in fact i'm scared and want the school years to slow right down! this time next year i'll be thinking about going into year 11. then it's sixth form, then uni. and then i'm alone in the big big world. going to be making my own way.
it's different when you're six years old and you say "when i'm older i'm going to live in a big house, and have lots of money, and loads of kids." because you aren't old enough to understand just how daunting it is as an adult. the fact now that everything i do affects my future, passing my GCSE's affects whether i get into sixth form. my A-Levels affect whether i get into uni. and uni affects whether i get a career and the job i want. it may seem far away, but it seems like only yesterday i was starting infants school as a five year old. scared that no one was going to like me. now 10 years down the line. well, i want time to slow down.
i remember when your only worry was the cut on your knee. when you would cry at the dinner table because you had vegetables again. when you got excited over having pizza. or when i cried because i had missed an episode of the simpsons. as i went through this, i never thought for a second that i would be worrying about my future, and the options and choices i have to face. i remember when i wanted to be a grown up, but now i wish it would slow down, so i can make the right choices for sure and never doubt them.
i want to cherish my childhood. not have it pass me by in the blink of an eye. i want to be able to have people around me supporting me for longer. i want to live with my mummy forever and have her cook me dinner every day. even though that sounds selfish. i don't want to grow up just yet. i don't want to have to fend for myself yet. i don't want to grow up. not yet anyway.
these are the times you wish peter pan would climb through your window and take you off to neverland...
the pig of happiness.
so, i was woken up by my mum at 8 this morning. which annoyed me because i have to be up at around 2am tomorrow morning, so i'm up and ready to go to the airport to jett of to cyprus by 3.30ish. it put me in a grouchy mood. but that soon went away, when i went downstairs and realised just how happy and smiley my parents were this morning. my sister however. well, i'm still annoyed with her, she just wound me up constantly yesterday. maybe not intentionaly, but she damn well did. she annoyed me this morning as well. mum set us on 'housework duty' whilst she and dad went to get the last few euro's, so i did all my jobs, and katie was busy doing the hoovering, when the hoover stops working.
so she yells at me " hannah come help me!" and i'm telling you, i'm not going to respond and help someone who doesn't have the decency to be civil to me. who does she think she is queen of the world? but anyway, i stayed on my computer, talking to my friend becca on MSN, when she yelled again. FML. so went to her, just to humour her, and said "leave it till mum gets home, she'll fix it, it happened the other day." so she then threw a paddy because she hadn't done her room. and oddly she reminded me of monica from friends, upset because she hadn't finished her cleaning. and to be honest, i found her storming around rather amusing, so i headed back to my room and sat laughing on my chair, which i think she heard. so this added fuel to her already raging fire -_-, so that's my morning.
i'm seeing my boyfriend later on, he was meant to be in scotland until the 12th, and i wasn't meant to see him until the 18th, because i get back from my holiday on the 17th. but yeah, when he rang me yesterday to ask if he could come today i was rather happy. he's only staying for a few hours, because mum (who is the only one in my family who actually likes him. -_-) said that he has to go home earlier as we need to go get my nan. who is staying over the week we are away to 'babysit' our cat.
you see, our cat is literally a pussycat. he's scared of everything. and he won't even leave the garden, so my nan, who kept a cat alive for 18 years, is bunking here to look after him. he does love her. she came over briefly one morning when my parents were working real early to see me and katie off to school, and he bounced (he's fat) downstairs, saw her and curled up next to her! i had to wait for him to settle in (which was around 6 months because he's scared of everything! -_-) and he lays eyes on her and lays next to her instantly! but then again she is a cat person.
i'm up early tomorrow, to get to the airport, to jet off to cyprus. looking forward to i am. super buzzing! but i have to get through today first :(. my mum has this wacky idea that because i got up early today i'll be more willing to sleep this evening. is she crazy? a teenage girl is going on holiday and has to get up in the early hours of the morning?! she's not going to sleep! so as my nan is bunking downstairs, if i can't sleep (which i won't, although i will try, to humour my mother.) i'm going to bop downstairs and talk to my nan. my mum has some idea that nan won't sleep until we have left. i doubt she'll sleep at all. she gets up at 5ish every morning. my nan's version of a lie-in is 6am. whereas my version? well that's another story altogether.
well i won't bore you much longer. i'll be going now. things to do, people to see. yadda yadda.
so she yells at me " hannah come help me!" and i'm telling you, i'm not going to respond and help someone who doesn't have the decency to be civil to me. who does she think she is queen of the world? but anyway, i stayed on my computer, talking to my friend becca on MSN, when she yelled again. FML. so went to her, just to humour her, and said "leave it till mum gets home, she'll fix it, it happened the other day." so she then threw a paddy because she hadn't done her room. and oddly she reminded me of monica from friends, upset because she hadn't finished her cleaning. and to be honest, i found her storming around rather amusing, so i headed back to my room and sat laughing on my chair, which i think she heard. so this added fuel to her already raging fire -_-, so that's my morning.
i'm seeing my boyfriend later on, he was meant to be in scotland until the 12th, and i wasn't meant to see him until the 18th, because i get back from my holiday on the 17th. but yeah, when he rang me yesterday to ask if he could come today i was rather happy. he's only staying for a few hours, because mum (who is the only one in my family who actually likes him. -_-) said that he has to go home earlier as we need to go get my nan. who is staying over the week we are away to 'babysit' our cat.
you see, our cat is literally a pussycat. he's scared of everything. and he won't even leave the garden, so my nan, who kept a cat alive for 18 years, is bunking here to look after him. he does love her. she came over briefly one morning when my parents were working real early to see me and katie off to school, and he bounced (he's fat) downstairs, saw her and curled up next to her! i had to wait for him to settle in (which was around 6 months because he's scared of everything! -_-) and he lays eyes on her and lays next to her instantly! but then again she is a cat person.
i'm up early tomorrow, to get to the airport, to jet off to cyprus. looking forward to i am. super buzzing! but i have to get through today first :(. my mum has this wacky idea that because i got up early today i'll be more willing to sleep this evening. is she crazy? a teenage girl is going on holiday and has to get up in the early hours of the morning?! she's not going to sleep! so as my nan is bunking downstairs, if i can't sleep (which i won't, although i will try, to humour my mother.) i'm going to bop downstairs and talk to my nan. my mum has some idea that nan won't sleep until we have left. i doubt she'll sleep at all. she gets up at 5ish every morning. my nan's version of a lie-in is 6am. whereas my version? well that's another story altogether.
well i won't bore you much longer. i'll be going now. things to do, people to see. yadda yadda.
Sunday, 8 August 2010
friendship.
friendship. it's a wonderful thing. it allows to have this one person who you can share this unbreakable bond with. someone who knows when you are sad, even when you have a smile plastered on your face. someone who you can ring at 4 in the morning saying "dude, i need you right about now." and they'll reply with "i'll be right over."
a friend is someone who will stick by you even when your world is imploding, when the walls are closing in and you feel like everyone is against you. a friend is someone who can make it sunny on a rainy day. a friend is someone who has the ability to give you this overwhelming amount of confidence that you suddenly find yourself in the street acting like a total idiot, but not caring because you are with them.
a true friend is a four-leaf-clover, oh so very rare, and oh so very precious. once you get one, never let it go. because it'll be ages until you find one that is as amazing, wonderful and special as this one. someone who sticks with you when everyone else has gone. when you are crying because your boyfriend ended it, they'll be there, not holding your hand, but ready to punch him up. the one who tells you that that dress looks awful on you, so you don't go out looking stupid. someone who you can trust your life with.
you'll know when you've found a real friend. because you'll be reading this and there'll be that one friend who was on your mind the whole time.
a friend is someone who will stick by you even when your world is imploding, when the walls are closing in and you feel like everyone is against you. a friend is someone who can make it sunny on a rainy day. a friend is someone who has the ability to give you this overwhelming amount of confidence that you suddenly find yourself in the street acting like a total idiot, but not caring because you are with them.
a true friend is a four-leaf-clover, oh so very rare, and oh so very precious. once you get one, never let it go. because it'll be ages until you find one that is as amazing, wonderful and special as this one. someone who sticks with you when everyone else has gone. when you are crying because your boyfriend ended it, they'll be there, not holding your hand, but ready to punch him up. the one who tells you that that dress looks awful on you, so you don't go out looking stupid. someone who you can trust your life with.
you'll know when you've found a real friend. because you'll be reading this and there'll be that one friend who was on your mind the whole time.
i love you.
i love you.
3 words. 8 letters. 1 meaning.
those are the words a girl will wait her whole life to hear. a girl would wait an eternity for prince charming to turn up at her door, sweep her off her feet and run off with her into the sunset. girls long for their own cinderella story. that's all a girl wants. to be a princess. to be wanted. to be needed. to love. and to be loved in return.
but the sad thing is, not many girls find that. some do wait their whole life for mr right - and they waste their life away in the process. because he never shows up. instead, they hook up with some good-for-nothing git who takes them for granted and doesn't respect them. but being a guy, they don't care.
3 words. 8 letters. 1 meaning.
those are the words a girl will wait her whole life to hear. a girl would wait an eternity for prince charming to turn up at her door, sweep her off her feet and run off with her into the sunset. girls long for their own cinderella story. that's all a girl wants. to be a princess. to be wanted. to be needed. to love. and to be loved in return.
but the sad thing is, not many girls find that. some do wait their whole life for mr right - and they waste their life away in the process. because he never shows up. instead, they hook up with some good-for-nothing git who takes them for granted and doesn't respect them. but being a guy, they don't care.
some guys see girls as objects. toys. things they play with. but guys, you have a utensil you can play with, it's called your dick. which i'm afraid to say ladies, some guys are. but you have to find the one man who isn't one. he may be on the other side of the world. but he's still there. and you may think that you're never going to find love and eternal happiness. but there is someone out there for everyone. someone who will love you, care for you and cherish you forever. someone who will see you for the wonderful lady you are. and surely that is worth waiting a life time for?
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